Tuesday, 5 January 2010

The truth...at last...

Another day...another interview...

So…how did you overcome your natural indolence to write a book?

Well, I know myself well enough to realise that I can only deal with very short deadlines and minimal forward planning. So I wrote the book in 1,000 word chunks. I thought I’d only need about 60 of them, but in the end I did 80. Then I stuck them together and did some editing.

Is it true that you completely neglected your family while writing the book?

Who? Oh…err…no, of course not. They were very useful for trying out plot lines, and my son even had a go at proof-reading in a desperate bid for attention.

Are the rumours true that you have a large staff of junior writers servicing your many social networking outlets?

No, that’s a completely malicious falsehood. My Facebook status updates are as exquisitely crafted as poetry - I agonise over every word, and can take hours…days… to find the exact right phrase. ‘Could murder a cup of tea’ is a recent example - notice the subtle inter-textual reference to the crime thriller genre, the careful use of London vernacular.
The blog is outsourced to WeBlog4U inc in Bangalore, and Veselina, my Bulgarian cleaner tweets for me during her cigarette breaks.

So why did you chose writing for children? Had it always been an ambition?

Absolutely. All my life I have dreamt of weaving stories to entrance and enchant little minds. I wanted to reach out, influence youngsters and emulate my heroes, masters of the craft such as JK Rowling…Stephenie Meyer…the woman who writes Horrid Henry...If I can just achieve 90 per cent of what they’ve achieved then I will be satisfied. Extremely satisfied.

Why did you decide to write a realistic book about crime, when it’s clear that the money is in wizards, vampires and angels?

Look I screwed up, OK? Poor market research. My next book will be about a wizard who stabs a fallen angel, much to the excitement of the gorgeous vampire who lives next door.

What research did you carry out for the book?

I spent six months living undercover as a 14-year-old boy at a south London comprehensive. It was gruelling, but fascinating. Luckily no one ever looked closely enough under my hoodie to spot that I’m actually a middle-aged mum.

Do you come from a literary background?

I come from an ancient dynasty of social networkers. My great-grandfather actually invented Twitter. Unfortunately the internet wasn't invented for another 150 years.

So, what did you think about the reviewer on Amazon who called your characters ‘obnoxious and unlikeable,’ and thought the plot was far-fetched?

Ah yes. The person who didn’t believe that London has gangsters who threaten the lives of people who cross them. He learned the hard way.

At this point the interview with Keren David was terminated, while the interviewer alerted the police. To read another interview with Keren click here



  1. Excellent, hilarious, distressingly believable. Oh heck everyone, just read the book, its a great read, I couldn't put it down, wonderful depiction of contemporary adolescence.

  2. Gulp! *runs away*

    *runs back* That was brilliant! :)

    Looking forward to the fallen wiz-vamp novel.

  3. I'm going to nominate this for "Blog Page of The Year". The award should help pay the money your other half will have to pay to bribe the prison warders to get you out....

  4. Admit it, Miriam and Luisa, you're googling WeBlog4U right now...

  5. You are hilarious. I finished your book last night and I've been desperate to write the review all day. I'm going to have dinner and then sit at the computer and poor my heart out. Even when I think about it now, I get a lump in my throat. Will it give to much away if I say the review will finish with five bright red stars?

  6. Oooh, won't have to send the boys round to sort you out!!!

  7. Dammit! That was going to be MY next book... back to the drawingboard. Sigh.

  8. I fear there may be several of us working on the same idea Cat. I can't think why that should be..

  9. Thank you for adding another reason to smile to my snowy - hopeful of less work and more writing time - evening!

  10. Started off thinking this was serious. Ended up laughing. Thanks for cheering me up no end. A brilliant blog posting. I agree with Anne, this is a definite Web Page of the Year contender.

  11. You're either really funny, or really *really* scary. I'm opting to believe the former.

  12. Completely happy with either description really.

  13. Okay, just snorted milk from my nose.

    Cheers Keren.

    This was bloody brillaint. So funny, I couldn't stop laughing.

    You just keep getting better and better.

  14. Hehehe - loved your description of your next vampire/wizard/angel novel!

  15. If I didn't know you I'd be very impressed ;-) No, great answers - very witty.

  16. Thanks Fish...wasn't it you who recommended those Bangalore people?

  17. Hee hee! What a great read to start the day!

  18. LOL! Brilliant self-interview - you're a hoot! ;-)

  19. Does anyone remember the press Susan Hinton got when she wrote Rumblefish (at the tail end of the 80s)? All about a woman writing the subjectivity of adolescent boys. Fascinating. But does this happen these days?

    Also, I wonder if you absolutely HAVE to have wanted to write something in particular or in a particular genre all your life to be successful at it?

  20. Wow, my conscience is hurting me now, it all sounds so familiar...