The first few words

There was a hand in the darkness and it held a knife. The knife had a handle of polished black bone, and a blade finer and sharper than any razor.

Brilliant, eh? How about:


When I wake up the other side of the bed is cold. My fingers stretch out, seeking Prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress.
Or:
Simpson fumbled getting the tape into the VCR. She was all, Which button is it? And I was like, How old are you and you can’t even work a friggin’ VCR?
Three books, three openings. The first - from Neil Gaiman’s superlative The Graveyard Book – has it all. Stylish thrilling writing, immediacy, scene-setting. You’re on the edge of your seat in 30 words.
The second is a slow start to a book full of high drama and extreme violence - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It introduces the main character, Katniss, and it emphasises her gentler side - a side it’s easy to lose sight of in parts of the book. Her sister’s name, Prim, hints at a dystopian world.
The third comes from C J Skuse’s vastly enjoyable debut novel Pretty Bad Things, and does a great job of establishing voice - laconic, teenage, contemporary - and attitude – disrespectful, impatient, funny.


Authoress McNonymous has been running a first 25 words critique exercise on her blog. Writers sent in the first 25 words of their WiP for anyone to comment on. I found it fascinating – how some first sentences grabbed the attention and others repelled or bored the reader.

As the Suzanne Collins example shows your first sentences don’t have to be action-packed. But, for new writers in particular, they do need to stand out. If your submission is going onto a big pile in an agent’s office then no one is going to read past a dull beginning. You need to spend time on those first words to get noticed.

This might all seem very simple and obvious, but it's not. My first version of When I Was Joe had a slow, scene-setting start. I wanted to create an atmosphere full of questions - who was this boy? Why was he lying?
My original first chapter - which went out to quite a few agents - started thus:

When I come home from school after that first long day of kids whose names I didn’t know and stuffy classrooms I would never be able to find again; he’s there. Doug. Drinking black coffee and smoking, ash speckled all over the scratched white Formica of the kitchen table.

Result: several swift rejections.

Then I had some good advice and changed the beginning. My new first lines read:

It’s one thing watching someone get killed. It’s quite another talking about it.

Result: Three offers from agents.


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